June 1st – Transforming My Character Defects

“…Step Six was a step that required just as much, if not more, action. The action we took was becoming entirely ready to let our Higher Power remove or transform these imperfections of our character.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 28

I am attached to my character defects. I hold grudges, and I enjoy holding grudges. I’m vain, and that makes me feel nice. I like to gossip, because it’s fun. Why would I ever give these character defects up? The chapter in Life with Hope on Step Six talks about the ineffectiveness of our defects in managing our lives, versus the effectiveness of our virtues. Gossiping might be fun, but it only builds resentments that might cause me to relapse. Vanity might make me feel nice, but where does it get me? As to holding grudges, an unwillingness to forgive is a sickness unto itself.

These thoughts are easy to conceptualize, but how do I act on them? How do I become even slightly willing, much less entirely willing, to have my Higher Power as I understand it, remove these defects of character, when I enjoy them so much? Even if these defects aren’t removed by my Higher Power, they might be transformed. Vanity can be diffused into self-care leading to self-worth, instead of self-pride. Instead of gossiping about someone, I can address my judgment-free comments, concerns, and opinions directly which would lead not to resentment, but constructive discussion. However, grudges must be entirely removed. They are a sickness as grave as addiction, and no action will transform them into forgiveness except the willingness to have them removed. These positive methods are far more effective in managing my life. It will take action on my part. Guided by my Higher Power, I manage my actions and reactions in these positive directions.

Final thought: Today, I will take action. Today, I will be willing to transform.